We all have them. Those things we’d rather avoid. The things we’d rather never have to do. The things that cause us anxiety. But it’s good to do those things. It forces us to step out of our comfort zones and confront challenges. It’s something we often encourage in children and it’s a way we can push ourselves to overcome fears.

Beginning Your List

I’m sure you are already thinking of some things to add to your list. Those things that make you ‘gulp!’ with nervous energy. So let’s start small. Let’s start small and work our way to those bigger things that you really don’t want to confront.

1. Make a list of those things that you are afraid of or have a hard time doing. This could be networking with strangers, public speaking, or meeting someone for coffee for the first time. Whatever it is, write it down.
2. Now, label those things from 0 to 10 with 0 being the least amount of stress and 10 being a whole lot of anxiety.
3. Think of the worst possible outcome. What would the worst thing associated with the event or task be? What could happen that would be terrible? In most cases,these fears are not so big once we take a closer look at them.
4. Here comes the tricky part. Take the first 0 on your list and face that fear. If it’s a fear of networking, join a Yelp or LinkedIn networking group. If it’s a fear of meeting someone, set up a lunch or coffee date. Do it quickly before you change your mind.
5. Attend the event. Be aware and conscious of your feelings and just let them come as they will. Don’t try to ignore them. Instead, write them down at the end of the task. Recognize how you were feeling.
6. Repeat that same task again. Try doing the first thing on your list a few times (a few networking events, a few cups of coffee). The more you expose yourself to that situation, the more you’ll become used to it – and eventually it will not be a big deal anymore.
7. Move down your list until you reach those #10 tasks. You will eventually get to all of the things on your list – but this doesn’t mean you won’t have more fears.

The Building of Fear

Some analysts believe that we begin to fear and become anxious when we actively avoid those things that we are fearful of. The more we avoid our fears, the worse they become. It’s important to realize that there’s nothing wrong with being afraid, but it’s equally as important to accept that fear and then face it. Through the ‘Honey Don’t’ list, you will build a strong tolerance to those things that once intimidated you – and you’ll feel great for doing it!