6 Ways to Exercise Self-Compassion

We take days off. We lay on beaches. We book massages. We join friends for dinner. We make an appointment or book a day in the future and forge on until that date arrives. But guess what? You can give yourself a break right now. At your desk, in your car, or in the middle of a work call. You don’t have to work it into your schedule.

Self-compassion is simple. It is the simple art of being kind to yourself. It is silencing that critical voice in your head. It is knowing your limits. It is saying ‘no,’ when you can’t do any more. It is allowing yourself ten minutes outside during a hectic workday. It is self care. And it’s more attainable than you think.

 

1. Take It Personally
   Emotion suppression isn’t possible. If our minds are thinking it, our bodies will show it. Bottling up your emotions can result in long-term harm. To yourself and probably to others around you. What a better way of dealing with your emotions?

 

• Acknowledge your emotions
• Identify where they are stemming from
• Have a mindful conversation if necessary
• Allow that emotion to pass
• Note that it is okay to feel, to process, to take the time to acknowledge

 

2. Sit Uncomfortably With Vulnerability
   Vulnerability. It’s not something that you will likely achieve overnight. Most of us have gone through too many negative experiences to expose ourselves outright. But we have to be vulnerable if we are going to exercise self compassion or compassion towards others. We have to take the good with the bad. We have to weigh and note both. We have to let other people see our imperfections.

 

3. The Human Link
   People can be intimidating. The CEO of your company. Your manager. That co-worker that always has the answers. Celebrities. Highly successful people. The list of people that seem super-human goes on and on. It’s easy to become impressed by these people. To feel self-conscious around them.But you’re forgetting an important detail: we are all human. We all mess up. We all experience the same range of emotions. We all feel like frauds from time to time. Remembering that all human share similar experiences can flip that compassion switch. Both to yourself and towards others.

 

4. Rewriting Negative ScriptsWhen you start talking down to yourself, stop. Then, say something kind to yourself instead. If your best friend came to you with a problem—maybe he screwed up big-time at his job, or maybe she forgot an important appointment—and began berating themselves over it, what would you say to them?

 

You could try simple phrases, like:

• It’s going to be all right; everyone makes mistakes
• Wow, that’s awful! I’ve been there, too
• You’re doing a great job; this is just a hard day

Look at yourself like an outside observer, and say the things you’d say to your friend to soothe, comfort, and reassure.

 

5. Stop the Worst-Case Scenario TrainWhen we’re worried or stressed, it’s easy to jump right into visualizing the worst-case scenario. Jumping straight into the worst-possible scenario—in your head—does more damage than anything. It doesn’t help you prepare for fallout; it just pushes you straight into panic mode. Take a minute, breathe, and focus on the reality of what’s happening in this moment.

 

6. Self-SootheWhat are some things that bring you comfort? Your favorite music; fuzzy socks; a warm blanket; a cup of coffee or tea; a long walk outdoors; a grueling workout; or a gentle yoga practice? When you’re feeling inclined to beat yourself up, do something that comforts you instead.Make this a regular practice when you’re feeling down on yourself; it will enable you to handle moments of pain and discomfort in a more constructive way.

 

Practice Makes Better

Practicing self-compassion gets easier with time. It not only encourages more kindness toward ourselves, but also toward others. And, like any other skill, it takes practice—but it’s one skill that is well worth the effort.

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