Describing the difference between guilt and shame is difficult. Not because we aren’t aware of these feelings, but because the two walk very similar lines. But there is a fundamental distinction. Shame is not productive. Guilt, on the other hand, can be.

Shame and Its Causes

Shame is usually related to self-reflection. It can arise when you feel inadequate or self-conscious. It is directly linked to your self-worth. Because of this link, shame can result in a lowered self-esteem. It can also cause us to stay stuck in negative thought patterns.

Here is an example of shame: “I will never be able to change my happiness level at work so I’m not even going to try. I’m just not great at what I do.” This is a powerful thought. A strong statement about how someone feels about their worth at work. It has no real value and can result in decreased self-worth.

Guilt is a very different animal – one that has immense value.

Guilt and Its Roots

Guilt happens when you do something that crosses your moral or ethical boundaries. The wracked feeling that arises often results in a lesson learned or a problem fixed. In this way, guilt can be very useful and can help you grow as a person.

Here is an example of guilt: “I took credit for my colleague’s ideas, and now I’m feeling bad about it. I want to alleviate this feeling of guilt, so I will tell my boss that it was her idea.”

In this example, guilty feelings result in a positive action or reaction. The person will no longer feel guilty after rectifying the situation. In this way, we can learn from guilt.

Interestingly, it is also possible to feel very much ashamed and not at all guilty – in fact, people that are often clouded by shame cannot feel genuine guilt (as noted in this article). You can be so wrapped up in shame and how it impacts you personally that you do not have any time for guilt.

In a Nutshell

Guilt and shame may sound the same, but they are very different. If you find yourself wrapped up in shame rumination, consider adopting some of my mindfulness tactics. We are often our own worst enemies, but we don’t have to be. We can productively learn from our missteps and then move on instead.